The Distancing Diaries: The Will, (Without) The Way

by Essence Williams on May 06, 2020

Just a few short years ago my morning routine looked something like this:

Wake up—leisurely (lot of emphasis there) around 10:00. Scroll social media for roughly about an hour.

Make coffee, dilly dally til around noon. Go to the gym, steam room/sauna—by 2:00 pm I’d be back home having a jam session and DEFINITELY on my first cocktail. Truthfully, I saw nothing wrong with a little casual alcoholism at the time. I’d go through full glam (to make this co-worker I was in love with gag) and get ready to do half-assed work at my bartending job that started at 4:00. And somewhere in the middle of all that—casually visit the fact that I was an “entrepreneur.”

You peep how I didn’t mention The Established one time, right? That’s how far down on my list it was at the time. In retrospect, I’m realizing I resented my business. I hated having an amazing idea and not knowing how to make it stick. How I didn’t have the connections or knowledge of how to navigate the business or what to even navigate. I had no money, no funding. I wasn’t even comfortable talking about The Established. I don’t think I truly saw myself as a real founder or CEO. I hated how other young entrepreneurs seemed to easily get sales and how I would go days, WEEKS without one. My sister even told me in a fight once that “nobody wanted my corny Established.” If I were at any lower a point, I would have believed it.

I don’t know if I was just praying for something good to happen or if I just wanted the business to just go away. I was completely STUCK. So much so, that it felt better for me to avoid it. But the thing about a business is that it’s like a child. And if you’re not in the right frame of mind as a nurturer your seed will suffer. I realize now looking back that I wanted to cheat the journey. Part of it may have been entitlement, and the other piece of it was that I was frankly exhausted of having faced so many lifelong challenges and didn’t think I deserved to go through any more. But like—you don’t get to start a business and say when you do and don’t want to be challenged 😂. Totally not how entrepreneurship works. You don’t get to decide when you can be comfortable.

Not long after, I committed to shifting my habits and mindset which has transformed me and my business tremendously. I'm up and at em by 7:00 am latest, I cold shower, I journal, I dismantle all limiting beliefs, affirm my higher beliefs, I will success unto myself and I hustle. Even through the start of all this there was no immediate reward and still some very low points involved. A lot of tears to keep me up at night, a lot of wondering what I was even doing with my life. But I also built up a state of resilience to confront these emotions to get real about change.

Before I was so fixated on perfection that I was petrified to make any moves. Now I just say yes and submit to the process. I no longer decide when I want to be comfortable, I move when my spirit moves me and now wear those low points like a badge of honor. What I’m building is something sustainable: a globally recognized, pioneering, minimalist inspired lifestyle brand. And if you're an early supporter thanks for going along with the ride! I just had to go through the motions plain and simple.

I am excited and equipped to face the many more challenges that await up ahead 💪🏾.